Chapter 3: Smooth and Big Rob Strike Back
I'm gonna pay some ironic homage right quick...
As we get older, and softer, we become more conforming as old age begins to set in. We all have kind of learned to get out of our own way in life. We married, and had a few kids. Some did both, some maybe did one but not quite the other. We all grew up to have a job or career, some working two jobs maybe even three. Some planned better than others, and most of us over the years had taken on an variety of different hobbies, collections, and interests. We watch movies and our favorite shows. We collect things like anything elephant, chicken, or Hello Kitty. We collect our books by author, guns, Jordan's, comics and coins. Some of us take an interest in sports, vacationing with family, and some are even interested in feet. Allot of these things are common, and some of these things are rare, some of these things can be illegal and some of them are often shared.
We categorize, label and tag them with things like genre, favorites, or fetishes. One of mine being "movies by writer", my favorite being Kevin Smith. His talent and style for writing, storytelling and making movies is nothing short of spectacular, a modern day John Hughes. You can't help but to enjoy his entire body of work. His dialogue and script of the View Askew, and Smodcast universe, from the characters of Jay and Silent Bob, the powerful statement of Red State, his imagination in Tusk and the epic banter between Dante and Randall in Clerks.
My buddy Smooth to this day is my oldest and closest friend. We are a lot alike in a lot of ways and very much different just the same. Especially when it comes to making decisions. He used to tell me all the time that he loved having me around because no matter how bad his shit was in life, mine always made him feel better about his. Now Smooth, a movie buff and also a fan of Kevin Smith
just like me can drop a movie reference on call that works at anytime. The reason I chose the name Smooth Pimp Daddy is because when I was in prison he signed his letters as such, a movie reference to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
Now, time to bring it full circle and get on with the story.
Smooth had got me a job with him at BP in May of 1998. This job is probably the one job that I will never forget. In fact when I watched the movie Clerks for the first time, it reminded me of BP. Our boss was cool and the squad was even cooler. She managed two stores and went to school full-time so she was seldom there leaving us free range to do as we please. Smooth introduced me to his co-workers many today I still talk to and call friend. We just celebrated one of the guys brother's 50th birthday a few months back. Happy 50th brother.
This was the era of the "Gas and Dash" when gas was $1.10 a gallon and you didn't have to pre-pay. We worked at the corner of Brittian and Tallmadge across the street from Ground Round which is now a McDonalds and sometimes worked the store at Howe and Main before there was a Sheetz across the street. Back then at BP it was mandatory that we authorized the pump for the customer no matter what. You won't catch one gas station doing that today. Now most gas stations and retail stores a lot so much money per month for shoplifting and theft, we wouldn't let people steal just so that we could eat and drink for free while at work. We took our jobs seriously, we were all dedicated and dependable. I had chased a dude all the way down Brittian to the light at First Choice in front of East High School over $6.00 in gas and had worked almost 32 Consecutive hours straight one week.
Everyone that worked there had a hustle or two, at the store as well as outside the store and we all kicked together. Sometimes those outside hustles would find it's way inside.
One of those hustles was to break down all the buy two get one free bundle packs of cigarettes.
We had about a half a dozen or so display boxes full. Our boss would have us break them down taking two of the packs and adding them to the cigarette count so that they would reflect in the inventory. The free packs cellophane had the writing "Not for individual sale" or "Promotional use only" and did not reflect in inventory and therefore did not have to be counted. Smooth and I would be blessed with all these free cigarettes, and what better place to sell such an item? That's right, a gas station.
I made my way back to the streets and started hustling for my brother selling weed with his crew. Once I got some money together I would become a silent investor and continued to work my hand. Cory has love in the Heights, myself not so much. I was the reason we went to Ellet, and hadn't returned to East until my senior year 2 months before graduation. His love got us a great price and the opportunity to diversify our portfolio adding LSD and eventually mushrooms.
One day while at work Vanessa shows up with her friend and another one of my closest friends. I had asked this friend what he wanted his name to be in this story shortly after releasing Chapter two. Tyler Durden who I didn't know at the time and just met resembled Jon B. He was a pretty boy hustler from Mason Park who went to a Christian school and drove a primer gray Chevy Blazer with the rear window broken out. Smooth would introduce us and Vanessa and I talked for a minute. We did the whole call me thing and would go on to see more of each other. With her and my brother graduating the following month she wasn't allowed to invite me to her graduation party because her parents didn't and still don't like me. In fact their baseless accusations of egging their house and vehicles back then turned out to be one of her brothers ex-girlfriends. After she was caught on the video camera that was set-up in the living room. In fact the only actual reason they had resulted from her black eye a year and a half prior when her father Dan had forbitten us seeing each other saying and I quote "I don't want my daughter dating a felon, let alone associating with one". He sure told us, as he got the biggest bird he could get in the form of two grandkids.
We had went through a lot of hallucinogens' that year especially while employed at BP. That was the hustle that made it into the store. Smooth and I would trip while at work for days at a time, doubling our dosage daily so that we could continue to feel the affects. I recall quite a few things from that summer. I had at one point found Waldo in the commercial gray with black speckle ceramic tile they had in the bathroom and spent several hours in the mirror popping a little zit that was forming on my chin. I messed with this zit so much for so long when I walked out Smooth laughed because it had grown to the size of a dime. The following day when we were still on one. Two Akron Police Officers came in, Smooth b-lined to the office in the back avoiding them while watching me interact with the officers on camera at the same time. These cats were cool and though it was the first time I met the officers of patrol car three. They would frequent the store often, the one officer inviting me to his wedding. Now for obvious reasons I didn't go but I gave him a gift that would result in them randomly pulling me over just so they could scare the hell out of me. A pack of bacon...
We had gotten busy the line was back to the cooler, I was behind the register sweating bullets. I mean I'm going through it. I had been with Ren, Jesse, Dave Small Can, and the Brawler at a wedding reception or something for one of Ren's people on Arlington near the Walmart. Ren blew through like a half a sheet in 30 mins and talked us all into dosing. I obliged and had to go to work shortly after giving smooth a couple hits. This elderly lady was buying cigarettes and muttered something to me and I was just to high to understand. I looked at her for a moment and began to laugh hysterically. She looked confused taking her purchased items walking away from the counter. I looked down at my drawer and noticed I had $5's in the $20's, and $1's with the 10's. I'm gonna be fired I was thinking as I started to crack. I looked up and there stood these officers with a couple of Mountain Dews and some gum. I didn't say anything and I tried not to react. They paid and left, the lady behind the officers is now at the register. She laughs and says to me, "I want whatever your on." I panicked running towards the office for Smooth to come help. He would get behind the counter and assist with the customers and for the remainder of the night the store would be like an episode of Beavis and Butt-head as we constantly giggled about everything. I didn't get fired thank God. At least not that day.
Our friend and coworker Rickey stayed near Akron U with his buddy on Wheeler. I would pop in over there and sell Ricky any where from 10 to 30 hits at a time all the time. Ricky had mad hustle, and is a weed connoisseur. Picture Drew Carey as the pot dealer in Pineapple Express but without the glasses. My man would come over to my place with a steel brief case hand cuffed to his wrist. Drop a quarter pound of some Northern Lights for $50 an ounce and then smoke you down until you tapped. Get up, go get a milk shake, get home and call once he got there to ask if you was okay. I believe Ricky is the reason that gas stations now have audio and video surveillance that log sales transactions at the register.
Ricky, Smooth and I had a plot to get rid of this new kid that was hired. He had been trading beer in exchange for coke. This young man however did not get permission to use our store and it's merchandise for his personal gain. Ricky would come up to work and peel his system from his truck while he was on the clock followed-up with a confession to Smooth forcing him to resign from his job with Ricky to quit a few days later. Our manager was replaced shortly after with a Fred Flintstone looking fella who slowly got rid of us one by one. I was fired twice the first not sticking when Fred let me go for stealing with no actual proof. Smooth went onto Dominos and I was fired for trying to stab that same former coke using employee and his twin friends when they attacked me at the store. I was there checking the schedule on my day off. That's right Ice Cube isn't the only to loose his job on his day off.
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